Never Trust a Robot – They Killed Bambi

24Jul07

robot

We are about to confront a future already limned by Fifties trash culture. Sure, the big tail-fin bards of pulp celluloid may have been a bit overzealous in their space-age polymer-drunk predictions of other worldly contact, but who can blame them? Post-war optimism at its adolescent best is always apt to make one a bit quick on the draw, but in the grand timeline of human existence what’s fifty or a hundred years? Sweet F.A. How could anyone have known the IT industry would take so long to get their shit together?

But look at us now. Plugged in and playing 24-7, domesticated Sony robots on the horizon, drive-thru everything and no amount of fairly-traded, ethically produced goods can stop another Wal-Mart customer from being born every 1.97 seconds. Our lives will only become smaller and cheaper in the same fashion as the products that define us like the grainy scan of a carbon copy of a smudged dollar sign.

The Robot Holocaust is only twenty or thirty years off. So stock up on water and reflective tape while you can and, for the love of GOD, remember: if you stop buying useless mass-produced garbage then the robots win.

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