Harper’s Last Stand

03Dec08

 

"Oh really? Well just you watch!"

 

A sweater vest, a sweater vest!

My kingdom for a sweater vest!

O friends, o friends! Of all people,

how could this happen to me?

My bold-faced hubris has left me stark,

exposed and tied to a tree.

 

But fret not friends, fret not on this day!

I can raise your dander, if not your pay!

Get out and march and rally round the flag,

then we’ll crush the unions and beat up on “the gays”.

 

And I’ll be there with my well-fed friends

to cheer you on your way,

to speak the truth and preach the word

and tell you what to say!

Because the words we chant have power

when the meaning’s stripped away,

so pick up the phone and breath through your nose

and hold forth with no delay:

 

“Is this, uh… communist cuba north or a free democracy!?”

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