Archive for the ‘work’ Category
Do It For The Children
Sit down, sit down. And how are you today? Great, that’s just great. Wonderful, even. Have a good weekend? Super, just super. Now, I just wanted to have a word with you about the management program you’ve shown interest in and maybe gauge where you’re at developmentally-speaking. We both know you’re a good worker, but […]
Filed under: cubicles, depression, fiction, humour, the office, work | Leave a Comment
Tags: fiction
The Language
I languish because I do not speak the language. I do this willfully. I do it as a point of pride, for turning common sense into an empty pseudoscience based on meaningless terms, insincerity and selfish glee should be considered a crime against humanity and […]
Filed under: work | 2 Comments
Tags: business, interviews, work
Bathroom Woes
The mens washroom at my place of employment is a real horrorshow (not to be confused with real horrorshow, which is the exact opposite of my intent). I cannot speak for that of my female coworkers, but judging by some of the smells that come wafting hence, I can only assume a similar sight lies […]
Filed under: bad smells, bathrooms, cubicles, fart, office, shit, work | Leave a Comment
Tags: bathrooms, hamburgers, shit, work
Nights
I’m a vampire, baby, suckin blood from the earth – Neil Young I am a vampire — rather, a vampire in reverse. Instead of staying up all night and sucking blood out of my surroundings, I stay up all night as my surroundings get fat off my blood. I do it for the paycheque, see? […]
Filed under: death, depression, existence, future, Neil Young, office, sports, turning thirty, vampires, work | 3 Comments
Tags: aging, night, night shift, vampires
I Sit In a Pod
I sit in a pod. This is my essential existence, which is to say that if one were to compile a catalogue of photographs taken on the hour, every hour, of me doing whatever it is I’m doing at that juncture (au natural – or as close as one can get to it these days) […]
Filed under: childhood aspirations, convenience, cubicles, labour, McHappy Meals, Ray Kroc, technology, the office, work | 5 Comments
Tags: cubicles, grandparents, work
FRIG. RIGHT. OFF! 